The Designated Driver (No booze!) just Juniper Smoke
The Designated Driver (No booze!) just Juniper Smoke
The Designated Driver (No booze!) just Juniper Smoke
The Designated Driver (No booze!) just Juniper Smoke
The Designated Driver (No booze!) just Juniper Smoke
The Designated Driver (No booze!) just Juniper Smoke

The Pished Fish Smoked Salmon

The Designated Driver (No booze!) just Juniper Smoke

Sale price£7.99


In stock

✔️ FREE guaranteed chilled delivery with £50+ spend (otherwise £5.95)

Delivery & FAQs

Satisfaction Guarantee

With the inability to give you a sample like we would at our market stall we offer a money back guarantee on any products you don't like! If you're a smoked salmon lover, and not afraid to try something a little different, we're sure you're our kind of customer. If you really don't like it we'll refund you in full. Can't say fairer than that!

Chilled Delivery Guarantee

With our no quibble guarantee we will refund or replace any products that don't arrive with you in perfect condition. 


Please allow up to 3-5 business days for delivery at the moment as everything is being made fresh to order to keep up with demand (June 2022) We make our smoked salmon fresh each week. Most smaller pack sizes (100g and 200g) we hold some stock of and will despatch as quick as possible which is the same for our Taster and Gift packs. For larger sizes (half and whole sides) we will slice these in the week and deliver on the coming Friday (e.g order Tuesday morning, will be with you Friday) If you need it more quickly, please pop us an email (we're very friendly) and we'll do our best to get it out to you sooner, or offer the same weight in smaller pack sizes. If you're not sure, don't hesitate to email and if you have any special requirements or need to hold delivery until a later date, please state these in the notes section in the cart or at checkout.

Northern Ireland, Highlands and Islands

We sadly can no longer offer delivery to Northern Ireland, the Scottish Highlands and Islands. Due to the nature of our products we are unable to reliably ship goods to these places in a timely and safe manner whereby they are still chilled on arrival. We have been getting a lot of lost and late parcels and a lot of wastage.

For existing customers in these locations, please get in touch and we can advise on the costs of Royal Mail special delivery to your location.

How does my smoked salmon get delivered?

woolcool insulated packaging

Your order will be packaged in insulated packaging filled with ice packs which are tested to keep the products chilled for up to 48 hours. We use DPD to transport the products on an overnight service, so the product should always arrive chilled as though it had been in a fridge. The insulated packaging is either compostable, re-usable or recyclable. 

Do I need to be home when it is delivered?

If you're not home we ask the courier to leave the package either with a neighbour or in a safe place. It is always preferable to have someone around to sign for the delivery though, so an address where someone is available (home or work) would help.

How much does delivery cost?

Delivery free when you spend £50, or below that £5.95 and is applied at checkout, and is based on your cart total after any discounts.

Where is the salmon from?

We source our salmon through Billingsgate fish market, selecting only the freshest Scottish salmon from farms with a focus on responsible farming. We use wild salmon by special order only, please sign up to our emails to hear when this is possible.

What is the use by date?

All our cold smoked salmon and trout is packaged with a minimum of 23 days shelf life. The only exception is our hot smoked salmon and paté which has a shorter use by date - 14 days. We will never send out any packs of smoked salmon with less than 5 days remaining on its use by date, or pâté with less than 3 days remaining.

Can you freeze it?

Yes, all our products are suitable for freezing. Please freeze on day of arrival.

I have a discount code - where do I use it?

There is a small box in the cart section where you review your order that asks for your discount code. Please enter it here and the discount will be automatically applied.

How much should I buy per person?

We recommend 50g per person as a portion. Really love smoked salmon? Double it!

Do you do wholesale?

Yes indeed - we include some of the finest food-halls in the land as stockists. If you'd like to join them please get in touch here



Sushi grade Scottish salmon

Long, slow smoke over Juniper and cherry

Kept au naturel (no booze!)

Hand carved in thick, decadent sliced

Rich and smokey, try it as part of a cream cheese filled bagel and taste the flavours shining through - wafer thin this is not!

"Dear God, this stuff is divine. I’m saving up for the next order - these guys REALLY know their business!" Lesley H.

Ingredients: Atlantic salmon (FISH) salt, Demerara sugar, juniper and cherry wood smoke.

Customer Reviews

Based on 159 reviews
Neil Cunningham (Sunderland, GB)
Quality smoked salmon

Due to an ongoing neuro problem plain smoked salmon is more appropriate for me as I cannot flavour anymore. Your good quality smoked salmon is excellent.

So sorry to hear this Neil and do hope that things improve for you soon.

Thank you for your feedback on our Salmon.

Cheers, Helen

Alan Sturrock (Winsford, GB)
posh pished fish

Salmon arrived safely thank you. We ate some of it over the jubilee weekend and it went down a storm ...thank you. Loved the delicate aroma and flavours.
We also really liked the Smoked salmon pate you sent as a freebie. Much much better than that produced by our local smoke house and we shall be ordering more.
I think it fair to say you now have another solid customer for your product .
Glad to hear that one of the people we recommended to you bought salmon although I gather an unexploded WW2 bomb somewhat frustrated delivery!

That is quite the interruption in delivery!

So glad that you enjoyed your delivery. The pate is a personal favourite and we think it is the best out there!

Cheers, Helen

Sabrina L. (Faversham, GB)
Top class smoked salmon

Extremely delicious smoked salmon. I like the way it is cut.
I have added some chopped pieces of salmon to my asparagus penne pasta.

That looks delicious. I love seeing how people are enjoying our salmon. We prefer a thicker, more decadent cut and glad that you agree.

Cheers, Helen

Carol (Slough, GB)
Our favourite!

This has overtaken the Margarita as our top blend, but none so far have really disappointed, although bottom of the list is Eric the Red. As ever delivery was exactly when expected and product was in perfect condition.

Thank you so much. I love hearing peoples favourites as I find it just too hard to choose!

Cheers, Helen

Gill Bevan (Daventry, GB)
The best

There would be no problem been the designated driver with this salmón
it’s delicious

Thank you so much Gill. Glad you liked it.

Cheers, Helen

As seen in...

27000+ orders delivered

No quibble chilled delivery guarantee